Life is Choice

I tried way too hard in high school. I was raised to believe a person’s high school performance determined everything for the rest of their life. Therefore, I got straight A’s, and I sucked up to nearly every teacher I met. I wore a cardboard box on my head, and I drew whatever face on it that would appeal the most to everyone else.

Junior year, I had to watch a TED Talk about answering the “big question”: How do you decide what you are going to do with your life? This was an important question to me, and one I was struggling with. While I was watching this TED Talk, one thing the speaker said stuck with me. She advised the audience to pursue what they are good at, rather than what they necessarily want. 

I loved art and theater. I did dance, I performed in musicals, and I studied animation. I wanted to pursue a career in the performing arts. However, I was way too hard on myself to the point where I lacked any confidence to act on such a desire. If I were to go for a degree in animation or acting, I would not make it with the timidity of a squirrel. I was running out of time to apply for college, and I was determined to make a decision.

If I were to pursue something other than the arts, what would it be? How does one measure their skill level at such a young age?

Grades.

I excelled in my mathematics and chemistry courses, so I decided to start there. After talking with some family members and teachers (as well as taking several online quizzes), I determined I wanted to pursue a career in forensic science with a concentration in chemistry. The change from artist to forensic chemist was drastic in many eyes, but I was certain it was what I would be good at, and therefore, enjoy.

I was done within the first semester of college. I stopped going to classes, I gave up on my assignments, and I barely took care of myself. If you’ve ever heard of the Freshman 15, I had a Freshman 35. I was not happy, and I was certain it was because of my academic inabilities. 

My roommate at the time had to suffer with my lack of class attendance and personal responsibility. She recommended I try to switch majors to something like communication. She had also just switched to communication, and she was thriving. 

It was yet another difficult decision for me to make. I knew I would be a year behind if I switched majors, and I did not want to put so much extra work on myself just to graduate on time. It wouldn’t feel worth it to make it to the finish line with a broken leg.

In hindsight, switching majors felt as if I was giving up. Whenever I struggled in high school, I always managed to get an A. It was as if I were drowning in a sea of high standards and failing grades. I was actively failing, and I did not know how to walk away rather than address it head-on.

What if I was making a mistake? What if I just needed to try harder? What if I made the wrong choice and fell even further behind? The spiral of what ifs cascaded over me and had me terrified of failure. 

But I was okay. I was not walking away; I was simply taking a different path at the fork in the road, one I hadn’t thought to explore before. After some deliberation (and my mother’s approval), I contacted my advisor and switched to A Communications Major with a concentration in film and media entrepreneurship. 

I am about to graduate, and I have never felt so confident and proud of who I am and the work I have accomplished over the past four years. Changing majors was the best decision I could have made. 

There is this huge stigma around changing majors and knowing exactly what one wants to do by the time they are 18 years old. This has been going on far too long, like the leftovers of those in the past who could easily enter the workforce. Job competition has only gotten worse, and there are a lot more educational and occupational opportunities to choose from. 

Life is about choices. There is no point in time when a person is unable to make a change or a shift in perspective. While they may be stuck, they are not lost.