The Almost College Dropout Column: (Article No. V) Progress, not perfection.

It’s January, again. And in all honesty, this one may bore you. I thought it would be a great idea to return to my column this new semester and reflect on how far I’ve come and figure out where I want to go from here.

If I look back at where I was a year ago, I had returned back to school after hearing bad news time after time again and was stuck in a state of limbo. Every time life took a hit at me I figured that there was nothing that I could do to change the situation. So, what did I do? I sat there and accepted it. And while I don’t regret the things I’ve done in life, I do know that the decision I made during this time was a mistake. And I set myself up for failure, literally. But that’s besides the point, It was such a difficult time for me as a growing adult. I’ve experienced hardship but nothing like this; I didn’t have any previous knowledge or wisdom to get me through that. But my understanding now is that the majority of the times, we won't know what life will put us up against and that’s exactly why were able to grow from these events that take place. 

I turned 20 this past January, and genuinely, I thought I had hit an early midlife crisis. Apparently, I’m still in this damn boxing ring with life and it’s still swinging at me when I don’t want to put up a fight. But this entire month has just been a reminder that I can still do it, I can win, I can overcome because I’ve shown strength and I’ve shown resilience towards defeat. So, I won't give up. And continuing to compare this January to the last, my state of limbo can be seen as a lack of action but I could also change my perspective towards it all. The limbo I was faced with was caused from a lack of direction. And in this semester I am building a path for myself in order to reclaim control. You’d think that as a “breaking news segment producer” I’d only have to report on news happening around me and not actually have my life be news after news after news. And I think it’s important for me to once again be in control of my own narrative.

And when its coming down to me and life still being in that boxing ring, I’ve got to remember that it isn’t about how many hits I’ve gotten in our how many punches I’ve avoided but rather learning a strategy to win the game because the bell hasn’t rung yet, and all the hits I’ve been getting has just been my warm up. 

Perfection is a straight line, to which many of us can’t follow but I’ve learned that it is progress that makes the difference. Progress is messy and exhausting but its so worthwhile to see how far I’ve come and where I’m heading as the person I want to be. Things have changed since I last shared a piece in this column. I’m currently making satisfactory progress here. While that’s a good sign that better things are coming, it doesn’t mean that I’m in the clear. And if I’m being completely honest, I hated this feeling. It has been such an awkward point of doing the best I can and just barely missing the mark every single time. It’s frustrating,yes, but I’ve now found it humbling. The long days, late nights,and tough conversations are what opened my eyes to taking responsibility and continuing to put in the effort. It continues to create new goals for me to hit and drives me to keep pushing. And honestly, I just don’t think I’ve hit all my goals,so for now, I’ll accept it and continue to be uncomfortable. 

But as of now, I am truly excited for what this semester will bring,as I look forward to the expansion of this column, the courses I’m currently taking, and my new position on Charger Bulletin News as the Breaking News Segment Producer. I’m grateful as it all feels like another step forward. And while I haven’t perfectly figured out my work life balance, I have my priorities, I understand what I have to put first and I know where I need to divide my energy. I can’t predict the future, but I can do what is necessary to shape what it may look like for me. And when I find it out, or maybe while I’m still discovering it, I’ll continue to take you along through the column. I’m nowhere close to done and I’m not where I want to be, but I am still here making progress and doing better before I can be all that I want.