(Article No. II) Resilience 101

Welcome to Resilience 101, a quick course that will show you how to continue, to persevere and teach you the importance of not giving up. In this course we will be asking the big question, “What does resilience mean to you?”

By definition, resilience means, “the capacity to withstand or recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.”

For our first lesson, you will learn that resilience is a choice, not a characteristic. Resilience is not a trait or  talent, nor something you are born with and it's not something you either do or don’t have. Resilience is a behavior and it is a state of mind which can only be shown and reflected through your thoughts and actions toward challenges. More specifically it’s about maintaining yourself in the face of adversity and standing on business.

Another thing that often gets mixed up is if resilience is about adaptability or flexibility. While flexibility can be seen as a good thing, I think it’s about conforming your needs to help meet others' needs. It’s almost  about compromising your wants so you can see eye-to-eye with another person. But adaptability is about completely shifting your approach and mindset when something isn’t working, it's your way of survival. In a storm you can either risk the chance of not making it or you can build yourself a shelter in the middle of it.

The first step is self-awareness. You must be able to know strengths and weaknesses so that you build your personal traits and know when to take advantage of them. Resilience is all about toughness and the effort you put into it. The efforts in being mentally, emotionally and physically strong are all important as you face a variety of life challenges. Being resilient takes effort. A small setback can often feel like a lot, but in order to get past it, you must look around it and remember that it isn’t permanent.

You should also recognize that you are in control of your emotions and how you decide to handle the challenges you face. You contain the most power in a situation, not because it’s in your control, but because you can control your emotions and actions toward it. By knowing how to regulate your emotions, you learn how to calm yourself, overcome your fears and let go of any anger you may be holding. These emotions often prevent you from moving forward. It’s good to know how to recognize your feelings and have a mechanism to regulate those emotions.

 Your resilience becomes strengthened as you begin to anticipate your challenges. As the clichéd saying goes, “you have to stay ready, so you don’t have to get ready.” That means mentally, emotionally and or physically. As you prepare yourself to have a positive response toward a challenge, you’re less likely to feel the pressure so you ultimately accept any changes. 

Although changes may be foreign for you, fighting what will inevitably happen will only drain you and make you want to give up rather than navigate. Life is constantly moving, whether it’s for you or against you. You have to laugh to remind yourself that your toughest moments shall pass.

I know I’m not perfect. And to be completely honest, even right now as I am getting better, I still fail. But I know that I have to push myself. I’m doing this for so many reasons, and if I give up now, I let go of so much that could come.

I keep my resilience, even in frustration and even when I cry. Maybe that’s because that is what’s left for me to hang onto. But what I’m continuing to learn is that it’s the smallest amount of effort, the mustard seed-size of resilience you keep, that makes the biggest difference. That tiny “I won't quit” is all you need to begin your journey. Once you’ve found it, hold onto it. Nurture it. Watch how it helps you recover faster, push harder and ultimately discover your true strength. 

So, what does resilience mean to you?